The REAL Housewives of Agony...Texas

THE AGONIZING TRUTH (cir 319)
Sunday October 23rd 2011
Jackson Tuck Editor


Local Housewives Shoot for Stardom

Mrs. Nayland Tuck

Six local Housewives announced today their intention to shoot and market their own TV Reality Series: The Real Housewies of Agony...Texas.  "We got the idea from feathermaye..." One source within the group told the AT, mentioning the wife of controversial Novelist S. Bond Herndon, who was also the target of a record number of lawsuits just last week.

Mrs. Tank Mortson was
once a screen actress...

"She's always thinking up ideas like that..." Willa Wadswood, one Agonite Housewife, added about THE FABULOUS FEATHERMAYE.  "She's the one that pointed out how we folks here in Agony have an advantage, when it comes to marketing and branding..." Wadswood went on: "Like how her husband used the play on words in the title of his new book: A Week in Agony...TEXAS"

Herndon's controversial book tells all the
secrets about Agony...Texas!

Willa Wadswood

Not one of the "Real Housewives" I spoke with today was prepared to do more than speak about the Herndons kindly.  None of these women chose to participate in the lawsuit.  "We think the whole lawsuit business is just foolishness on the part of some around town..." One Housewife insider wishing to remain anonymous told the AT.  

Norma Sipes Lead Cashier
Greasy Dollar General Store 

"We plan to start production sometime in the next few months..." Norma Onyx told the AT.  "We're still working on our screen tests and such as that...feathermaye said we should take our time with it..."  




Y'all remember Norma when she was the lead majorette on the Agony High Marching Band and Bugle Corps.  Of course, she still works over at the Greasy Dollar store, over by the oil patch.  






Evidently, these women are serious about putting this pilot together, and then sending it up for consideration with the available networks.  

Little Anna Dixon folks!

"It's going to be a feathermaye production, to start with..." Little Anna Dixon told the AT: "They do all that sort of stuff, plus they write books and all that...it's all just so exciting!  Jerry, my husband, went and bought me a new semi-automatic for this weekend's hunting! 

The only Onyx in the competition?
Where's Olyandra?

Not to be outspoken, Millicent Onyx also tossed her hat into the ring of contenders, even though she has been widowed these last seven years. "I still consider myself a 'housewife', Milly told the AT. "Who's to say otherwise?  I've done nothing else for the last forty years!" 


What do the women of the Agony Poker Club have to say about "The REAL Housewives of Agony...Texas"? That and more in the next issue!