THE AGONIZING TRUTH
Circulation (319) AGONY, TEXAS
Jackson Tuck Editor
Drylander, always a large man, rumor has it that he's dropped hundreds of pounds and is getting involved with The Mountain, in Canton Texas |
Folks here in Agony were shocked to hear of Drylander's seemingly clandestine jettison of his home town. "I've known Travis all my life. He never much came outside, much less ever left town. Shoot...I didn't even know the fool could drive!" Clim Stanton told the AT.
The Cuts of Agony "The Big Nothing" |
Drylander was always a large man at least until this last year, where a few scattered reports surfaced of Agonites seeing Travis as he slimmed down.
"Man would not come out if people were about," Mimi Lutz of Lutz' diner told the AT. "Travis always comes in about three, or four in the morning, depending on how many folks would be in here, sitting in the diner. Last few days, we ain't seen him any."
Why Drylander would go so far as to follow Novelist S. Bond Herndon as far away as Canton, Texas no one may ever know.
We made a quick phone call to Herndon about the report and asked if he had anything to add. "Well, we're about to need a radio man up this way..." Was all the controversial writer had to say about the matter.
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